So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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