Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
