he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
