She said her name was "party"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
