So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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