if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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