I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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