I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
What a dumb baby whore.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
