Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
