Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
