ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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