i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
