Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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