i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
