I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
