his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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