We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I deserve this hangover.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
