roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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