What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
