It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
