I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
