you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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