Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
