i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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