She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
