He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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