Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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