Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
