come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
