What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
