So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
