I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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