Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
