i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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