Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize