Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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