I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
