know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
