So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
