I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize