I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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