Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
