i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
