how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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