Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
