He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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