So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
