Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
