The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
