I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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