i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
