Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
