Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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