Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
