All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Terrible idea I love it
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
