I murdered the dance floor call the cops
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
