Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
