You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Randomize
