she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
