***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Green mimosas i think yes
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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